I have such tremendous mind monkey today – ie. I’m having trouble taming my thoughts – and I know it has to do with resistance to finishing this book. There’s an increasingly loud inner voice screaming, “I’m done, I’m done!” just because I want the feeling of being done (I’ve been working on this book since October), but … I’m not done. At this stage of not being done, everything is a distraction. So in lieu of following every shiny thought strand to its inevitable conclusion, I collect all the mental detritus throughout the working day in my working journal, so that my mind is satisfied those terribly important thoughts *koff* aren’t lost. Frex, here’s yesterday’s mind flotsam and jetsom:
-I swear, I do not get to buy Tina Fey’s BOSSYPANTS until I finish this book.
-I want these Sean Yoo bookcases.
-Do men watch movies with tough chicks because they don’t threaten their masculinity like chick flicks? (Badly paraphrased … but then so are most of my random thoughts.)
-Why do my knees hurt?
-I need to stop eating brisket tacos.
-Get new health insurance, and cancel that credit card that just charged me a yearly maintenance fee for f*ck-all.
-Writing sex scenes and fight scenes are soooooo similar.
-Need to go on a ride-along w/K. (Crime scene analyst buddy.) Why do I want to call it a drive-by?
-Work out today.
-Why is there a pig in the bathroom?
-I wish I could flip the sky upside-down and bounce on those clouds.
-If you turn a dead body over, it farts. Can I even get that in a book? Should I ever get that in a book?
-I wish I’d taken more pictures at the Rockabilly Weekender.
-Everyone keeps tiling their head in this manuscript. Learn to spell ‘tilting’ Vic.
-I love that man. He gives me brisket tacos.
-I hate cox cable.
-Jay-sus, Vic! Focus!
And that’s just, oh, an hour’s worth of abuse right there. The mind monkey tends to calm once I get into the day’s work, but sinking into it is the trick. I work extremely well on planes, so maybe I should pop in the earphones and try to recreate that space … limit my mind and ability to move so I can best use the time I have. Because there’s not much of it now. This baby is due.
